Dear Guy at the Next Table, Part 3

Dear Guy at the Next Table,

Well you actually aren’t there anymore. You left. But you gave me your number. I didn’t expect that. You gave me your number after the fiasco that occurred a few minutes ago. You said you thought it was cute. We’re going to have dinner soon. I suppose I’m excited about that. I mean, I got a good chunk of the crazy out of the way right at the beginning and you thought it was cute.

Oh god, you think crazy is cute, which probably means you’re crazy. I mean, no one can be as good looking as you and nice and not crazy.

Okay, I’m not going to let myself ruin this. Not yet. I’ll have plenty of time to sabotage this unintentionally when we actually go on our date. Oh no, now I’m imagining all of the ways it could go wrong. What if you take me to a vegan restaurant? Will you be offended if I’m offended? I mean, I don’t think I’d be offended, but maybe I would be. I eat meat. Should I not eat meat? Or what if you’re gluten intolerant and I eat bread? Is that like a peanut allergy? Can you react if I eat it across the table? Or if you’re lactose intolerant and I order milk? Wait, that makes no sense, I don’t drink milk. But I love ice cream.

What are we going to talk about? You’ll want to get to know me I suppose and you’ll ask me questions I may or may not be prepared to answer. Oh god this is awful. No, I’m not going to do this. I’m going to wait and see what happens. What’s the worst that could happen?

 Oh boy, here we go again.

Guy at the Corner Table