Floating Words

The blank, the void

The lack of you

A hole I cannot fill…

Illusions are my world now

They’re all I’ll ever know

There’s no reality without you…

There are famines of the soul

And droughts of heart and mind

That leave us standing breathless…

The steam rose from your cup

And drifted past your eyes

Your deep green eyes…

The red mist of the sunset

Turned your tears a coral pink

As my words waded through them…

I stapled up my torso

From where my heart broke through

Stitched the sinews back together…

I will hide my heart

On the high shelf of the pantry

Push it to the back…

I have been deveined

Like a shrimp for cooking

Stripped of all the life force…

Take this bread

It is my body

My heart specifically

Digging through the couch cushions

I found the pieces of my heart

Plastered to the fabric…

If I held all the reasons

Not to love you in my palm

They would form a pile like sand…

I took account of history

The one of you

Combined with me…

Calibrate the heart I gave you

Make adjustments to the levels

Of my love if you need

A lone gull cried out

Announced the coming sun

As I sat on the lonely dune…

I didn’t think I’d suffer

When you turned away

I’d been bracing for it…

Trace my lines

And draw my curves

Paint my eyes…

In a podcast interview Barbara Kingsolver shot these words right through me:

“I have all of those people I’ve ever been still in me, many of them very unhappy. I’m a happy person now but all of those unhappinesses are still in there.”

My jaw dropped as the words barreled through my body.

Off with my head

I don’t need it anymore

All it does is tell my heart…

I found where all my rage is kept

On the back of my skull

Slightly to the left….

Stay here

Hold me in the dark

Where you can’t see me cry…