Things You Can Do When You Live Alone

1) Leave the empty toilet paper roll on the dispenser until the next use. No one will yell at you. Except perhaps future you.

2) Sleep in the middle of the bed. Roll around that king size bed all you want. Sleep sideways if you're feeling it. Stretch out diagonally. Do whatever, you don't have to accommodate anyone else.

3) Ignore the smelly stuff in the fridge for far longer than you should... maybe this isn't a positive thing, but it is technically something you can do when living alone, so.

4) Use chairs as bookshelves. I suppose technically you can do this in an agreement with roommates/significant others, but it has to be a discussion. You don't have to say anything if you live alone, you can just stack those things on the chairs. Why buy a new bookshelf when you have several chairs and no one else needs to sit on them. Company coming over? Just make the floor the temporary bookshelf. You live alone, nobody gonna judge you.

5) Sing as loud in the shower as you want. As off key as you want. Screw the neighbors, release your inner Beyonce.

6) Speaking of showers; use all the hot water. All of it! You don't have to save a drop. Stay in there as long as you want. Make your bathroom a steam room and luxuriate.

7) Eat all of the meal you just made. Don't want to share? Great, because you don't have to. Go ahead, eat that whole cake. Only Judy can judge you.

8) Rearrange the furniture however you want. Don't like the TV where it is? Move that shit. Don't ask anyone, they aren't there, so they don't matter. Do whatever you want with your kingdom.

9) Park wherever you want. Does your apartment only have one space? Well now you don't have to arm wrestle to see who gets to park there. You don't have to park in Azerbaijan if you come home later than anyone else. You won't have to schlep those groceries from any farther than you need to. 

10) Walk around naked. All the time. Anytime you want. Who needs pants? People who don't live alone that's who.