The Rage

I found where all my rage is kept

On the back of my skull

Slightly to the left

Just a centimeter from the point

Where my spine joins my head

Where my body meets my mind

That’s where all of it is stored

I pressed on it

And it began to bleed violently

But the only evidence of hemorrhage

Were the tears leaking from my eyes

I found where all my rage is kept

And just before that discovery

Someone said “ask your body

Is there anything I need to let go of”

Mine whispered back “anger”

So when I found the rage

I said “okay, let it go”

I’m sorry

I’m sorry

I’m sorry, I can’t

I’m not ready to let it go

I’m not ready I’m sorry

I’m sorry I’m not ready

I can’t and I’m sorry

I’m sorry, I don’t know how

I’m sorry

I’ve carried it for so long

I’m sorry

It’s been here all this time

But I haven’t felt it

I’m sorry

I’m sorry

I want to let it go

But I’m sorry I can’t

I can’t I’m sorry

I’m not ready

I’m sorry

It’s okay

It’s okay

It’s okay if you can’t

You don’t have to be ready

You don’t have to let it go yet

It’s okay

You weren’t allowed to feel it

It’s okay if you don’t know how

It’s okay if you can’t yet

It’s okay you can’t let it go

That’s okay

You have held it so long

You should have been allowed to feel it

It’s okay

It’s okay

You don’t have to let it go yet

It’s okay

You don’t have to it’s okay

It’s okay

I’m sorry you weren’t allowed to feel it

To fling it back at those who deserved it

To process it

To mourn it

I’m sorry you’ve carried it

All this time and don’t know

How to really deal with it

It’s okay

I found where all my rage is kept

On the back of my skull

Slightly to the left