April 20th, 2015

Dear W,

I've been avoiding you lately. I'm sorry about that. I have a reason. I don't know if it's a good reason or not, you'll have to let me know.

I've been avoiding you because I want you around. It sounds incredibly crazy, but it's the truth. I want you around all the time. I want to get to know you more. I want to lean on you when times are rough. I want to be there for you when you have a hard time too. I really think I could fall for you. I guess I already have on some level.

The problem is that we started this thing incredibly casually. We have both talked about how we can't really handle anything more right now. We said we didn't want a relationship that went beyond this. In some ways that hasn't changed; I'm still as busy as ever and I still need my space, but now that is fighting with this want of you.

I don't know what to do about it. If I tell you you might freak out and end things. That would be terrible, because even this casual thing we have going right now is better than not seeing you at all.

I've been avoiding you, because if I'm around you it only makes things worse and I'm afraid I'll tell you all of this. And I guess that means I've been avoiding you to prepare myself for the inevitable; you avoiding me.

K