A Consistency Compromise

My goal is to post not only more writing in general this year, but to be more consistent with it. When it comes to these musings specifically, the more part shouldn’t be a problem. Last year I only posted four of them, and it seems like more than once a quarter is a pretty easy goal to beat. Consistency is what brings this specific post to the site today.

I always say that I am a recovering perfectionist. As such I have a difficult time letting something be considered “finished.” That, combined with the doubting voices that haunt my mind can mean that I will sit on what I think is a good piece of writing, arguing with myself that it just needs one more little edit. It can be difficult to determine when that is actually true and when I am using that as a stalling tactic for not putting the post out into the world. The thing about a good idea, is that as long as it remains an idea I don’t share, I can always think it’s good. If it becomes more than and idea and goes out into the world, it can potentially morph into something that is no longer good. Nothing worse than a good idea with poor execution.

At the end of 2025 I sat down and looked at the categories of writing and creating I do. I do this sort of evalutation and goal orienting at the end of every year. This time I decided to set myself the task of being more goal/completion oriented. In the past I have focused mostly on trying to distribute my time between the various forms of creating. This time I decided what days I wanted things to be posted, determined which categories would be weekly, and which I would allow myself a little more time. Now my goal is to work my way down that list, posting as things finish. If I complete the thing before its deadline it get scheduled. If the deadline passes I work to make sure that it is out as soon as possible. We’re only three weeks into the year but it seems to be working well thus far… until this musing post this week.

I had five drafts on the list that are in the editing process, and I thought that surely one of them would be at least close to ready. I went through the first one. Not quite there. Missing something, but I wasn’t exactly sure what. I set it aside and went to the next one. Exact same thing. Almost there, but not quite. Those are both related to the posts talking about the idea of Hurt in society, and given the potentially thorny nature of their specifc subjects, I didn’t feel like I could just throw caution to the wind there. The third was a piece I have rewritten multiple times on the idea of faith, and it is so close, but needs a significant chunk added to bridge between two parts that were added in the last draft. So that one was out. The other two are much younger in their draft lives, both potentially good (note that I initially typed “very” and then backspaced when the doubts in my head screamed), but not ready yet.

I debated. Was I actually scared of putting these out and using the “they aren’t quite ready” as an excuse. In this case I don’t think so. The compromise I made with myself was to do something that is almost as scary; a post that is completely unedited made on the day of the musing deadline. It’s a different kind of test, and one that I don’t think I would have been at all comfortable with even five years ago. But here I am, meeting the consistency goal in a way that I can accept…. even if I want to spend a couple more drafts to make a much more satisfying conclusion than this one.