Trying

I don’t know how

To accept any love from you

I can’t absorb it now

However much I want to

But I am lost without it here

Unsure of what to do

With the sense of me

And the touch of you

Drunk on all the prospects

I knew I shouldn’t face

I reach out to touch your face

Believing in the smile

Hoping against hope

That this time

This time

Might be one

That doesn’t just undo me

Like so many times before

Hoping in spite

Of evidence and history

That this time

Truly this time

I will allow myself the grace

To let down the walls

And find a simple, solid way

To accept the love you give

I am trying hard to reach a place

Where I can believe that

Knowing it could disappear

Accepting that potential danger

As what makes the giving

The choosing of me

By you

Every single day

So special

I don’t know how

So I’ll bungle through

Being loved by you