Twilight

I haven’t been out

In what must be twenty years

I’ve been sitting here

In the dark

An exile self-imposed

An atonement for the things

I can’t remember anymore

My skin is caked

With the dust of decades

My face lined

With the memories

My joints are stiff

From the pain of unsaid things

The weight of worlds rests

Upon my shattered heart

All of it pulled down

By the gravity of my mistakes

Into a soil of my regrets

I’ve lived this unlived life

Mourning futures that never came

Oscillating between them

And the painful past

Never here

Never now

Never in the moment

Until now

At the ending of it all