Floating Words

If I held all the reasons

Not to love you in my palm

They would form a pile like sand…

I took account of history

The one of you

Combined with me…

Calibrate the heart I gave you

Make adjustments to the levels

Of my love if you need

A lone gull cried out

Announced the coming sun

As I sat on the lonely dune…

I didn’t think I’d suffer

When you turned away

I’d been bracing for it…

Trace my lines

And draw my curves

Paint my eyes…

In a podcast interview Barbara Kingsolver shot these words right through me:

“I have all of those people I’ve ever been still in me, many of them very unhappy. I’m a happy person now but all of those unhappinesses are still in there.”

My jaw dropped as the words barreled through my body.

Off with my head

I don’t need it anymore

All it does is tell my heart…

I found where all my rage is kept

On the back of my skull

Slightly to the left….

Stay here

Hold me in the dark

Where you can’t see me cry…

I don’t know how to talk to you

Because you are human

And I have been stripped ...

I drifted into shadow

On the edge of consciousness

My body paralyzed...

I don’t know what to do

About the shape of you

The yawning chasm in my life...

The potential of this moment

With your gaze locked on mine

Drifts around along and through me

I craned my neck

Took a look

Into my aching soul...

I need you to cauterize

The wounds he left behind

The bleeder that has sprung...

Sometimes writing takes you

Where you don’t want to go

Delving to the very depths...

There are countless stories written

Poems spoken

Lyrics sung

That speak of a “You”...

If the bottom fell out of the sky

And the heavens came crashing down

Could I sneak my way inside...

Many therapists will tell you

To look at your inner child

And be the person

That they needed ...